If you’d asked me what the most unlikely thing my Facebook TL
could’ve thrown up at me yesterday morning, I doubt that the news that seems to
have got everyone throwing their geek toys out of the pram on various social media
outlets would’ve even crossed my mind. But, as Den of Geek (http://www.denofgeek.com/movies/batman/27009/confirmed-ben-affleck-new-batman-release-date-announced)
broke it to me in my slumberous haze; Ben Affleck has been cast as the new
Batman in the upcoming Superman vs. Batman film.
Like many, this wasn’t my first choice – in fact, it hadn’t
even been rolling around in my ball park – but I’m not a casting director, so
what do I know? But then again, so soon after Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy,
which I’m not ashamed to say I’m a big fan of, I couldn’t really see anyone
other than Christian Bale as Batman at the moment (give me at least a few years
to get over it, before throwing around names to replace him!). But this is
Hollywood and with The Avengers pulling in the crowds (and more importantly the
profits) cashing in on established superheroes, I assume, is top of every big
studio execs to do list.
But the casting of Affleck really did throw me, and not
necessarily because I don’t think he fits the character of Batman, or is an
inferior actor not capable of handling the role. Physically he fits the part,
and at least on paper he is the ‘older’ version of Batman that Snyder
supposedly wanted, if maybe not as old looking as this had made me believe they
wanted. But what seemed at odds in this decision was not the choice of the producers
to go with Ben Affleck, but the decision of Affleck to take this role. Over the
last few years he has worked hard to leave behind the tainted image of his
career that films, such as Pearl Harbour, Daredevil and Gigli, had created to
that of a respected actor/director. The guy even won a directing Oscar last
year! Why would he risk the reputation of this new era of his career for a role
in a big-budget superhero movie?
Ben Affleck does not need this role. But maybe that’s the point,
he doesn’t need it, but maybe he wants it. After all, who wouldn’t jump at the
chance to be their favourite superhero onscreen? (Really, anyone thinking, ‘no,
because I know that would be a shit film’, like you’d really care once that
spandex and cape were put into your hands). And it begs the question, if
Affleck has taken this role for the love of the character then how much
influence, considering his recent writing/directorial success, will he be able
to bring to the part? And this could be a good thing (I’m being optimistic
here, it could also be a disaster). The fandoms may be imploding with this news
right now, but for every Stallone as Dredd, there’s Ledger’s Joker, and until
we start to see what this film is actually shaping up to be passing judgement
on a casting decision alone seems a little futile. So geek toys back in the
pram people, and just remember, if this incarnation of Batman bombs you’ll only
have a year or two to wait for the next ‘reimagining’ of the caped crusader.
Just over a week ago I went into
HMV, fully intent on buying some DVDs (those that my nearest and dearest had
failed to get me for Christmas, despite them having a very clear list, with
preferences!) yet I walked out with nothing. Now HMV have gone into
administration: http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2013/jan/15/hmv-administrators-4500-jobs-at-risk.
In the words of that great philosophical character, ‘Oh great, now I have
guilt!’ (Rex from Toy Story, in case that had you stumped).
Here’s the thing; I went in with
two DVD titles in mind. First up, The Raid (2011, Gareth Evans), so I headed
over to the foreign language section, friend in tow, ready to scan the various
shelves in order to find it. But the first issue arose before we’d even got
there: there were too many bloody people! Now, ok, it was sale time, and
usually it’s not that busy, but, as someone who would not really class myself
as a ‘people person’, well you can see the issue I had there. This did not stop
when I reached the usually quiet and introvert friendly foreign film section –
which due to its generally low footfall, is situated in a very narrow aisle –
needless to say, claustrophobia ensued. Standing there, not being able to
concentrate, because you know that both your exits are blocked – one by a
couple so absorbed in their own search, that they haven’t even noticed you’re
there and might want to leave, and on the other side by a guy whose crouched
down on the floor looking at the titles on the lower shelves, not to mention
the various crowds blocking all the other aisles on the way to the exit – by this
point the blood pressure has started to rise.
But it was ok, this has been a
relatively popular foreign film, so it’ll definitely be there, all this will be
worth it… erm, well, no.
It was not there! With everything
in alphabetical order, you’d think that finding what you needed would be
simple, that is of course, if they have it in stock. So there we go, ten
minutes of my life wasted already, pointlessly looking for a DVD that was never
there. It ran through my mind that maybe it was over in the special offers/sale
section, but to be honest, by this point I had lost the will to try (I was on a
lunch break, time was short).
Ok, on to the next one: The
Expendables 2 (Simon West, 2012). This is ok, I know where this will be, only
recently released, it’s going to be over in the DVD chart section. Result! That’s
exactly where it was! Oh, wait, it’s £13.99, that’s a bit steep – after all, I’ve
had to walk into the shop, find it myself, and then, imposition upon imposition,
I have to take it over to the till point myself(!) to pay. But it’s ok, there’s
a big sticker on the front declaring that it’s in the ‘2 for £20’ offer. Brilliant,
I love a deal as much as the next person – even if it does mean buying
something I wasn’t necessarily planning to (I’m such a sucker, I know!). This
would’ve turned around my little shopping trip – that is if I could find
another DVD with the same sticker on! Alas, there were none. Usually it’s a
case of deciding which other DVD in the offer will suffice – as in, I don’t
already own, and wouldn’t mind seeing, but no, this was the most redundant
special offer sticker in the shop – unless I bought two copies of the same DVD,
of course.
So that was it, I walked out with
nothing; annoyed, frustrated and dissatisfied with my shopping experience.
Here’s the problem, I think I’ve
been ‘Amazoned’ as far as shopping for DVDs is concerned. HMV and other high-street
retailers of DVDs, music etc. just don’t stand a chance when you compare the
two shopping experiences. This isn’t like clothes shopping, where holding the
garment, feeling the quality of the fabric, or trying the item on to check the
fit are essential elements of the shopping experience. When buying a CD (if you’re
still resisting the digital invasion) you’ve generally already heard a song or
two, you know the band, and you know that that is the item you are going in to
buy. It’s the same with a DVD, most, as I did, go in with a list of titles in
mind that you’re willing to part with your money for – unless you’re just on
the hunt for bargains, but again, actually seeing the physical product will
have little impact upon these purchasing decisions. You don’t really need to
see the product out on display, it won’t catch your eye and take you unawares
(oh, I didn’t even know I wanted a pair of shoes like that, but seeing them in
front of me, I do now. Just doesn’t quite have the same effect with a DVD)
unless, as had already been said, it’s a major bargain.
This is the major flaw with high-street
retailers as compared to those online. When online, all I have to do is type in
the name of the title that I want, hit ‘search’ and there it is; all formats,
all the prices, editions etc. No searching, pushing through the crowds, having
to crouch down to rummage through the lower shelves, basically no stress! Oh,
but wait, what about the personal touch, the member of staff who can point you
in the right direction for a present for someone whose tastes are well out of
your comfort zone? Well, first of all, good luck if you can actually find
someone – they seem to only man the tills these days. But this is also another
area where online retail can excel; type in the name of a DVD that you know
they already own and it will give you a number of examples, without prompting,
of similar titles, or a ‘customers who bought this, also bought’ section. Everything
is right there, at your fingers, in the comfort of your own home.
It’s a shame, because it’s
another one of our high-street shops falling by the wayside – not in the least
for those who will unfortunately lose their jobs as a result. But it just seems
that as far as the retail experience goes buying films, music and books is one
of those that makes more sense when done online. One just can’t compare to the
other – well, at least for one as anti-socially inclined as myself anyway.
So it’s awards season, and everyone
is anxiously anticipating the announcements of who’s up for what, all with
their perfectly manicured fingers crossed in the hopes of being shortlisted for
the next round of awards. That is, of course, with the exception of the Razzies
– after all, which egotistical luvvy wants to end up on a list that’s title
starts with ‘Worst’?
Leading the way this year is the
final Twilight film, Breaking Dawn Part 2. Not wholly unexpected really, the
full list of this film’s nominations is as follows:
Worst Picture, Worst Director
(Bill Condon), Worst Actress (Kristen Stewart), Worst Actor (Robert Pattinson),
Worst Supporting Actress (Ashley Greene), Worst Supporting Actor (Taylor
Lautner), Worst Screen Ensemble, Worst Screenplay, Worst Remake, Rip-Off, or
Sequel and, last but not least, two noms for Worst Screen Couple (Robert
Pattinson & Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Foy & Taylor Lautner – who really
should take the title for the total ‘ew’ factor of that whole ‘relationship’
full stop! I know, I know, it was in the book, but seriously: ‘When can I start
calling you dad?’, that’s just too weird and, well frankly, puke-inducing).
What with it being the final
Twilight outing – and therefore its last chance to win one of these coveted
awards – there is a good chance that Breaking Dawn Part 2 could sweep the
board. Having seen all the films in the series, I would say that there is
definitely a good argument towards it winning anyone of these, however, the
thing that most offended me about these films (that is apart from the appalling
message it sends out to young girls about love, friendship and relationships,
but, hey, that’s derived from the source material, right?) is the appalling
make up and special effects.
Now, in the first film, these
things were almost forgivable – not knowing how well the film would do, special
effects and make-up will obviously be one of the casualties of budget. But by
the fifth film this was a multi-billion dollar franchise – it just had to look
at a teenage girl and she’d sweat money – so how were these things overlooked?
From an effects stand-point, if
you saw the film, I’m sure all I have to say is: vampires running or jumping
and you’ll understand completely how laughably bad they were. From other films
and TV shows it seems to be that this is a tricky effect to pull off, but
really, with a budget that big, you’d think they’d be able to do a better job
than just making their legs and the background look a bit blurry. I’m sure there
are a multitude of other examples, but to be honest I really have no desire to
sit through the film again to try and remember them, so I’ll move on to the
make-up issues – perhaps the most irritating thing about the whole film
franchise.
Now here I seriously think that
the Golden Raspberry Awards should create a special ‘Contributions to Bad
Make-up Artistry’ award for the whole series – a bit like one of those
life-time achievement awards, because honestly, it is mostly just consistently appalling.
Now the human characters don’t fare too bad, but the vampires, on the other
hand, those who are supposed to look so beautiful that you are uncontrollably drawn
to them, well that’s a different story. Take, for example, Kellan Lutz
(Emmett), a pretty good looking guy by most people’s standards, yet looks at
his worst in these films (hair way too dark and obviously artificially coloured,
and skin, well, keep reading…).
Some of this I will admit, is not
wholly down to the make-up department, after all, they can only work with what
they’ve got and a major issue seems to be with the casting of the actors in
some of the vampire roles. Firstly, if we take Nikki Reed as Rosalie, who in
the book, if I remember rightly, is described as being an incredibly beautiful
blonde. Now, hold on here, I’m not going to say that Nikki Reed is not pretty
enough for the role, the issue solely comes down to her hair colour. That is,
she doesn’t look good as a blonde, at least not the colour blonde that they
gave her. This is also true of Peter Facinelli (Carlisle) who seemed to have
been unnecessarily attacked with a bottle of bleach – again, much more
attractive with his naturally dark hair. Now, honestly, these are minor roles
in the series, could they not have found actors more physically suited? (I
highly doubt there is a shortage of pretty blondes in Hollywood). Or, if these
two were their definition of perfection for the role, then could not the
appearance of the character been slightly changed to fit – as in many other
book to film adaptations?
A contributing factor to this was
the skin colour of all the vampires. While they were almost certainly going for
pale and interesting, they mostly just looked ashy and pallid. Yes, I know they
were supposed to be ‘dead’, but they were also supposed to be irresistibly
alluring, which actually looking like you have been dead for the past three
weeks is not. With all the amazing make-up products available in the
twenty-first century you would think that luminous pale skin would actually be
a rather easy endeavour, yet instead we are left with the kind of sallow,
chalky appearance that wouldn’t look out of place on a cinematic vampire from
the 1960s. Furthermore, as these guys are supposed to be dead anyway, would a
little hint of blusher have killed anyone?
It just doesn’t make any sense to
me. If these guys were supposed to look like ‘dead’ vamps then fair enough, but
they are frequently described as the epitome of beauty. If the film had a limited
budget, you could give it some concessions, but it’s one of the biggest film
franchises of all time! Seriously, I don’t think money was an issue here. Which
can only lead to one conclusion; that of just plain bad artistic decision. I
suppose, then, maybe this should fall under the banner of ‘bad direction’, because
really, as a director (you know, the one supposedly in charge) these decisions
are ultimately on your head. And how can you not notice that your young,
good-looking cast are emerging from the make-up trailer at lot worse looking
than when they went in? But, hey, when they can fob their audience off with a
cheap ‘it was all a dream’ answer to the most climactic (and enjoyable) element
of the film just to ensure that safe, bland happy ending why would you expect
anything more?
I suppose with 'impossible' in the title I'm not supposed to believe any of the stunts/gadgets etc. in this film are even remotely possible, which they aren't. But the ride was enjoyable enough to take me along with it - just about. Incidentally, got more laughs from me than This Means War (2012) a few weeks ago...
The Bourne Legacy (2012)
Anyone who's listened to Mark Kermode review this film may have as difficult a time as I did watching it, as all I could hear throughout the film was his voice in the back of my head: 'It's NOT A BOURNE FILM!'
Agnosia (2010)
So strange that I should watch this film in a week when I'm reading a book about the history of the fairy tale (especially when you consider it has been one of my LoveFilm DVDs that has been sat by my TV for the last month or so), as it is so similar to so many of the stories and themes that inherent to that genre.
Marketed as similar to Pan's Labyrinth (2006) the fairy tale themes in the narrative and Spanish period setting are about as far as the comparisons can go. But from an early shot of Joana as a young girl holding black balloons at the end of a jetty with the sun breaking behind her shows that this film is going to be beautifully shot.
As well as the fairy tale influence, however, there was also an evocation of the Godfather (especially Parts 2 & 3). Maybe it was the slight sepia tones in some shots, or the fact that the two male leads had a slight look of De Niro as Vito Corleone about them (it was probably the moustache). Add to this the final climatic scene, which tales place on a a seemingly endless set of church steps, which created an air of deja vu (we all remember the end of the Godfather Part 3, right?) and you just get the sense that this particular fairy tale is not going to end well.
Hansel and Gretel (2007)
Deciding to keep up the fairy tale theme, I finally got round to watching this which I've had on my Sky box since Film4's Firghtfest season last year. A Korean take on the fairy tale that we're all familiar with, it's classed as a horror, but I found it nowhere near as unnerving as many of the East Asian horror films that I've seen in the past - especially those involving children. Having said this, it didn't take anything away from the film at all. While veering from the usual Hansel and Gretel narrative somewhat - direct links include the 'candy' house, in this instance where it seems to be perpetual Christmas, references to losing your way in the woods and using bread crumbs to find your way back next time, and the burning of a 'witch' in the oven - the tradition fairy tale themes are all there in abundance: the supernatural other, not always to be trusted and definitely never crossed, childhood versus the adult world, wish fulfilment, etc. One to get on DVD for repeat veiwings methinks.
Unknown (2011)
Just a general run of the mill action/thriller film. Liam Neeson is always watchable, and although the 'twist', so to speak, was easily decipherable from early on, it still took me long enough to work out how it all fitted together to hold my attention until about 3/4 of the way through.
Grabbers (2012)
Simple premise really: what would they do on a small Irish island if there was an alien monster trying to suck the blood of the inhabitants? Have a pub lock in and get bladdered of course! Ok, that's reducing the plot to the bare minimum - the getting drunk part does actually make sense as far as the plot is concerned, and leads to one hilarious situation after another (super-soaker filled with petrol as a flame-thrower anyone?). All future makers of small scale alien invasion movies take note: let your characters get drunk, it will be so much more fun to watch!
